so much to think about it's scary.
July 10, 2011 | 4:41 PM
Reading friends' blogs made me suddenly want to put my thoughts down again, so I just decided to start typing and see where this post leads to. I agree with what you said, Yong Xi, that sometimes when I'm writing something it might be easier to think about the fact that I can just not press the Publish Post button and leave it hidden in my lists of posts till the day I go back and read it and realise what a stupid, emotional fool I've been. But sometimes, I suppose that thought at the back of my head that I'm going to be publishing what I'm typing now and people who know me are going to read it does make it easier to organise all that nonsense that's going on inside my head.
The plethora of advice and massive amount of care and concern I've received from everyone around me has been nothing short of amazing; once again it made me realise how blessed I am to have all these people around me.
Mr Azhar's birthday just came and went, and now just watching the video we did for him in 2007 kind of gets me a bit. I cannot believe it has been 4 years since we did that and I suppose so many things have changed since then. I don't believe life was any simpler or harder, it just.. has changed. Most of it in a good way I think, though with age comes a lot of other things as well.
Pardon the sudden jump in topics; I'm not that trained to write coherently sometimes, especially when I've just told myself I'm just going to write what's in my head and heck everything else.
Okay, back to what I was going to say about how blessed I am - I guess not a year passes by without me thinking about how I handle the relationships in my life - between family, friends, special people in my life, teachers, acquaintances etc. I don't usually set out to think about them, but things will happen that cause me to have to think about them, and through this events I grow I think. It is my 24th year on this planet, and still I'm going through periods of big adjustment in my life, big enough for me to see that I haven't fully matured yet to be at peace with myself. Maybe one would never reach that stage of self-actualization ever, but I think everyone tries their best to be as close to it as possible. And obviously I don't think I'm close enough yet.
But I would like to believe with every stage in my life I've grown stronger. And it's only through the support of people around me can I feel like that. So, thank you.
velda.
